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reTrOpOOp....retrofitted dad......for the younger generation November 01 Blah Blah Blah................Looking at the title, you probably guess that I have nothing better to say but fill this space with words that carry no significance. I realise that my interest in making entries on my blog is beginning to wane somewhat. One of the main reasons is that I journal my reflections elsewhere too. Of late, I am also rather busy. So, this space does not get updated so often. With so few visitors and so much effort needed to dream up some things to blog, I think I might as well close this down temporarily.
Lest you think that I am bored and life mundane for me. Far from it! It has been exciting and interesting on many fronts; at home, at work, at church and on a personal level. Just don't feel like baring my thoughts in writing as of now. Anyway, you will probably hear less of me in the days to come.
Bye for now................. October 23 Baggage from the PastHere is an extract taken from the book by William Isaacs "Dialogue and the Art of Thinking Together". In concluding chapters, there is something something very interesting.
He wrote: "We are taught when we are very young to lock away behaviours and attitudes that do not fit. This civilising process is quite necessary, but it has a cost." Then he went on to quote an example shared by Robert Bly. Bly said:
"Behind us we have an invisible bag, and the part of us our parents don't like, we put in the bag. By the time we go to school, our bag is quite large. Then our teachers have their say:'Good children don't get angry over such little things.' So we take out anger and put it in the bag. By the time my brother and I were twelve...................our bags were a mile long."
Here is the interestiong portion:
"The rejected parts of ourselves do not develop. What remains in the bag regresses or devolves, Bly says, toward barbarism, making it increasing awkward to live with. We spend our first twenty years putting things into our bag, trying to be acceptable, but splitting ourselves in half. We spend the rest of our lives trying to get these rejected parts of ourselves, our shadows, reintegrated into ourselves."
So, can you imagine each one of us trying to live out of a confused mixture of ourselves (either in the present or from the bag). No wonder we get into all kinds of relationship problems. Successful and purposeful living, therefore, belongs to those who are able to deal with what is in their bags, come to terms with these and then reintegrate them back into their lives.
Essentially, it is self-discovery. It is about finding our true selves (once lost when we were younger)! October 14 Kronos vs KairosThese are just two Greek words but they are poles apart in their meanings. Kronos is the name of the god of time which we are on slaves to. Don't believe, ask yourself this question; how many time have you looked at the clock/watch/mobile to check the time since you woke up this morning. If you can't, you probably have looked at it countless times. It is nearly impossible for the human not to check the time each day. Perhaps you should try if you can live without doing so just for one day. If you are like me; you are likely to fail. So, we are all truly slaves of the clock. Peter Senge said that the clock is the most distrastrous invention of of times.
Kairos is very different. It speaks of seasons, inner knowings of the passage of time; not the exact telling of time. The four seasons, sunrise, sunset, flowings of a river, flowers blooming, giving birth, the movement of stars etc. These are all Kairos; all happening even before the clock was invented. In essence, Kairos is about the cycles of life; your life and mine. We were meant to experience this to the fullest until the clock came and tyrannized us; robbing us of our enjoyment of the seasons and the joy of nature. Man was created to have this deep sense of the meaning of Kairos. Being still and seeing that we are part of the whole cycle of life liberates us and gives us purpose for our living. All these are what our Creator has intended.
So, my friend, pause and live for the Kairos moment and not in Kronos' hour. October 09 Whom do you serve?If bowing to the king of the land means honour; why would serving the King of kings be considered as a sacrifice?
- David Livingstone - September 29 The Voice of Truth has spokenWho am I?
Not because of who I am
But because of what you have done
Not because of what I have done
But because of who you are
(lyrics taken from "Who am I" by Casting Crowns)
The Voice of truth tells me a different story
And the voice of truth says do not be afraid
And the voice of truth says to me that it is for my glory
...........and I choose to listen to the Voice of Truth
(lyrics from "Voice of Truth" is also very good - check it out on www.radioblogclub.com)
I am YOURS
Note: Of course I know this. This was settled long time ago but once in a while, we see the world with a glass darkly and lose our bearings. No worries, I found my True North (thanks to his faithfulness) Hallelujah! September 26 Who Am I?There is a re-structuring within my organisation and it was a major reshuffle. Nothing like a military coup in Thailand or en masse resignation by Koizumi and his cabinet today. Still, it must have left many people heart-broken, shaken, somewhat apprehensive and reflecting on what all the fuss that this is creating. What is most significant to me in this annoucement is seeing a seemingly capable person fall from glory! I am utterly convinced that no matter how good you are; you are always at the mercy of the system you are in (remember your boss is also part of the system). So it leads me to think about the value and purpose of our diligence and hardwork. Who are we working for? Who are we trying to please? Who is giving us approval for our value? Bottomline it is about my identity - Who Am I?
This is an age old question that baffles human beings since time immemorial. It has given philosophers and psychologists many ideas to think about and research areas to do. Still, the answer eludes us all. Why? For the simple reason that the answer lies not in the human mind or its wisdom. We have to go the source of our identities.
If we can uncover our personal identities, then we would have created for ourselves immunity against any storms or uncertainties in life. Whether it be retrenchment, re-structuring and even being cold-storaged will leave us unshakeable in the belief in ourselves. The irony is that once we discover our identities, our intuition will guide us to avoid such "mishaps" from coming to pass. I am of the belief that once this identity is found (some call it destiny), the person is unstoppable. He or she will be so passionate over this new-found liberty that it is almost infectious.
Have you found your identity or destiny? If not, do start seeking it. For it can be found.
As for me, I have embarked on this journey. Wish me well! September 21 Who is Special?After about 3 weeks, I visited www.mrbrown.com again today. Then I saw something which I felt I must write about. Mr Brown posted a letter from his wife, Ginny to a lady called "Sandra" about the challenges and joys of bringing a special needs child. Follow the link and read about it yourself.
Oftentimes, God places us in seemingly unfair and unpleasant situations for us to be a blessing to others. Ginny, I believe, falls into this category. I have a friend whose son is also autistic; he's going to P1 next year. Things have improved for him. The last time I saw him he looked pretty okay; except that he's still active and a little attention-deficient. So, as I was saying, God takes the adverse circumstances and turns it into a beautiful story to be shared with others; to encourage and to build up. I really want to commend Mr Brown and his wife for weathering the early years bringing up Faith (their firstborn) and now they are blessed with two more beautiful children. Ginny's letter tugs at my heartstrings as well; go read it yourself.
She also brought up another good point. For parents of special needs children, they need to learn to accept them as precious gifts. I would even take a step further. Don't just accept them; EMBRACE THEM. Of course, I don't belong to this categroy of parents so I may be presumptuous in my thinking. Nevertheless, it is true that when we deal with our own children, we do not just accept them. Embracing them will make a difference in their lives.
Life throws us many lessons and assignments; some are easy, others almost impossible. Children happens to be one of the most challenging ones. But it is also through parenting the kids that parents grow as individuals and mature into wonderful adults.
So, to my three children, AnAn, Austin and Justin..........I am better off with you around in my life.
CHEERS! |
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