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November 01 Blah Blah Blah................Looking at the title, you probably guess that I have nothing better to say but fill this space with words that carry no significance. I realise that my interest in making entries on my blog is beginning to wane somewhat. One of the main reasons is that I journal my reflections elsewhere too. Of late, I am also rather busy. So, this space does not get updated so often. With so few visitors and so much effort needed to dream up some things to blog, I think I might as well close this down temporarily.
Lest you think that I am bored and life mundane for me. Far from it! It has been exciting and interesting on many fronts; at home, at work, at church and on a personal level. Just don't feel like baring my thoughts in writing as of now. Anyway, you will probably hear less of me in the days to come.
Bye for now................. October 23 Baggage from the PastHere is an extract taken from the book by William Isaacs "Dialogue and the Art of Thinking Together". In concluding chapters, there is something something very interesting.
He wrote: "We are taught when we are very young to lock away behaviours and attitudes that do not fit. This civilising process is quite necessary, but it has a cost." Then he went on to quote an example shared by Robert Bly. Bly said:
"Behind us we have an invisible bag, and the part of us our parents don't like, we put in the bag. By the time we go to school, our bag is quite large. Then our teachers have their say:'Good children don't get angry over such little things.' So we take out anger and put it in the bag. By the time my brother and I were twelve...................our bags were a mile long."
Here is the interestiong portion:
"The rejected parts of ourselves do not develop. What remains in the bag regresses or devolves, Bly says, toward barbarism, making it increasing awkward to live with. We spend our first twenty years putting things into our bag, trying to be acceptable, but splitting ourselves in half. We spend the rest of our lives trying to get these rejected parts of ourselves, our shadows, reintegrated into ourselves."
So, can you imagine each one of us trying to live out of a confused mixture of ourselves (either in the present or from the bag). No wonder we get into all kinds of relationship problems. Successful and purposeful living, therefore, belongs to those who are able to deal with what is in their bags, come to terms with these and then reintegrate them back into their lives.
Essentially, it is self-discovery. It is about finding our true selves (once lost when we were younger)! October 14 Kronos vs KairosThese are just two Greek words but they are poles apart in their meanings. Kronos is the name of the god of time which we are on slaves to. Don't believe, ask yourself this question; how many time have you looked at the clock/watch/mobile to check the time since you woke up this morning. If you can't, you probably have looked at it countless times. It is nearly impossible for the human not to check the time each day. Perhaps you should try if you can live without doing so just for one day. If you are like me; you are likely to fail. So, we are all truly slaves of the clock. Peter Senge said that the clock is the most distrastrous invention of of times.
Kairos is very different. It speaks of seasons, inner knowings of the passage of time; not the exact telling of time. The four seasons, sunrise, sunset, flowings of a river, flowers blooming, giving birth, the movement of stars etc. These are all Kairos; all happening even before the clock was invented. In essence, Kairos is about the cycles of life; your life and mine. We were meant to experience this to the fullest until the clock came and tyrannized us; robbing us of our enjoyment of the seasons and the joy of nature. Man was created to have this deep sense of the meaning of Kairos. Being still and seeing that we are part of the whole cycle of life liberates us and gives us purpose for our living. All these are what our Creator has intended.
So, my friend, pause and live for the Kairos moment and not in Kronos' hour. October 09 Whom do you serve?If bowing to the king of the land means honour; why would serving the King of kings be considered as a sacrifice?
- David Livingstone - September 29 The Voice of Truth has spokenWho am I?
Not because of who I am
But because of what you have done
Not because of what I have done
But because of who you are
(lyrics taken from "Who am I" by Casting Crowns)
The Voice of truth tells me a different story
And the voice of truth says do not be afraid
And the voice of truth says to me that it is for my glory
...........and I choose to listen to the Voice of Truth
(lyrics from "Voice of Truth" is also very good - check it out on www.radioblogclub.com)
I am YOURS
Note: Of course I know this. This was settled long time ago but once in a while, we see the world with a glass darkly and lose our bearings. No worries, I found my True North (thanks to his faithfulness) Hallelujah! September 26 Who Am I?There is a re-structuring within my organisation and it was a major reshuffle. Nothing like a military coup in Thailand or en masse resignation by Koizumi and his cabinet today. Still, it must have left many people heart-broken, shaken, somewhat apprehensive and reflecting on what all the fuss that this is creating. What is most significant to me in this annoucement is seeing a seemingly capable person fall from glory! I am utterly convinced that no matter how good you are; you are always at the mercy of the system you are in (remember your boss is also part of the system). So it leads me to think about the value and purpose of our diligence and hardwork. Who are we working for? Who are we trying to please? Who is giving us approval for our value? Bottomline it is about my identity - Who Am I?
This is an age old question that baffles human beings since time immemorial. It has given philosophers and psychologists many ideas to think about and research areas to do. Still, the answer eludes us all. Why? For the simple reason that the answer lies not in the human mind or its wisdom. We have to go the source of our identities.
If we can uncover our personal identities, then we would have created for ourselves immunity against any storms or uncertainties in life. Whether it be retrenchment, re-structuring and even being cold-storaged will leave us unshakeable in the belief in ourselves. The irony is that once we discover our identities, our intuition will guide us to avoid such "mishaps" from coming to pass. I am of the belief that once this identity is found (some call it destiny), the person is unstoppable. He or she will be so passionate over this new-found liberty that it is almost infectious.
Have you found your identity or destiny? If not, do start seeking it. For it can be found.
As for me, I have embarked on this journey. Wish me well! September 21 Who is Special?After about 3 weeks, I visited www.mrbrown.com again today. Then I saw something which I felt I must write about. Mr Brown posted a letter from his wife, Ginny to a lady called "Sandra" about the challenges and joys of bringing a special needs child. Follow the link and read about it yourself.
Oftentimes, God places us in seemingly unfair and unpleasant situations for us to be a blessing to others. Ginny, I believe, falls into this category. I have a friend whose son is also autistic; he's going to P1 next year. Things have improved for him. The last time I saw him he looked pretty okay; except that he's still active and a little attention-deficient. So, as I was saying, God takes the adverse circumstances and turns it into a beautiful story to be shared with others; to encourage and to build up. I really want to commend Mr Brown and his wife for weathering the early years bringing up Faith (their firstborn) and now they are blessed with two more beautiful children. Ginny's letter tugs at my heartstrings as well; go read it yourself.
She also brought up another good point. For parents of special needs children, they need to learn to accept them as precious gifts. I would even take a step further. Don't just accept them; EMBRACE THEM. Of course, I don't belong to this categroy of parents so I may be presumptuous in my thinking. Nevertheless, it is true that when we deal with our own children, we do not just accept them. Embracing them will make a difference in their lives.
Life throws us many lessons and assignments; some are easy, others almost impossible. Children happens to be one of the most challenging ones. But it is also through parenting the kids that parents grow as individuals and mature into wonderful adults.
So, to my three children, AnAn, Austin and Justin..........I am better off with you around in my life.
CHEERS! September 20 Singapore IdolHady Mirza vs Jonathan Leong
That's how it will be this coming Sunday; a familiar repeat of the 1st Singapore Idol competition two years ago between Sly and Taufik. As I have predicted, the females will always be disadvantaged in such a competition that is focused so much on image rather than talent. Anyway, there ain't any good females vocals except Matilda who was eliminated earlier. So, you see nobody wants to hear the fat lady sings; only a slim girl that sways!
While I was watching the results last Thursday, the teenager in me desperately wanted to see Jasmine go in; after all I was a boy once and would love to see a female face in the final showdown. But I guessed she wasn't good enough. But come to think of it; Jon didn't have a great voice too. Hady may have a good voice but his public image isn't that strong as Jon. So you see, the whole competition is not one of who has the most talent; but who has a better trade-off to give him an edge over the other contestant.
Hady, being a graduate of TP, went back to his alma mater to "collect some votes" for the finals. I am surprised that TP would host him with such short notice (actually they got no choice lah!); considering the fact that a ministerial visit to the campus would require 3 months' notice. To top it all, he was received by his ex-Careperson (kinda of form teacher) and the Director was made to shake his hand. Those who had the power and authority to alter his poly results were all there to see him in person; forgetting that he might had once skipped lectures and copied his tutorial assignments. Such is life; which turns the tables when we least expected.
It sometimes really pays to be a Singapore Idol wannabe!
So, we will see how these two boys square up this weekend. Did you ask me who I am voting? Depends what mindset I put on. If I were a teenaged girl (like my daughter), it will be JL all the way!!! But if I were Ken, I might sway my vote towards Hady. I supposed the final winner will not just be based on talent but also the ability to become synonymous with the Singapore Idol brand. I suspect the latter is far more important in such a showdown. September 13 Tainan Missions Trip (1 - 5 Sep 2006)what a trip! it opened my mind and eyes to many things i had not experienced before. it gave me a chance to see how God is working in other parts of the world. it was also a humbling experience for me. i learnt that we avail ourselves to God; He almost always surprises us. in the kingdom of God; there are no failures; only detours. the trip opened my eyes to see the needs of the people of the world like never before. it gave me a deeper sense of identification with the urgency to evangelise the unreached. God taught me that he can still use me despite my own unmet needs and problems. so the axiom that i learn from the coaching course on ministry flows out of our being became alive. God put together this team in a most marvellous way to create the greatest possible impact given the circumstances. i am still amazed how the team can accomplish so much with a span of only 5 days. finally, let me share with you an excerpt from my trip report. the pictures have been uploaded - enjoy!
I came with a small cup to be used by God; thinking that I have already humbled and availed myself to Him. Instead, He took my cup and in return gave me a larger cup filled of His goodness, mercy, grace and strength. I never imagined myself to be able to do so much in a span of just five days; but He multiplied it just like He did to the two fish and five loaves offered to Him. I also never thought that being part of a mission team would open my spiritual eyes to see wondrous things untold of. One sentence summarized my entire experience – What an Awesome God we serve! September 10 Memory Restoredi am a born thinker i guess. today i no longer have the memory lapse problem yesterday. but i seem to feel that one portion of my life is now erased away; or maybe not. whatever. i am supposed to blog on the recent mission trip but i have yet to gather the thoughts together. i will try to put together something in the next couple of days. one word summarised this trip - awesome! for details, see my next blog entry. September 09 Memory Lapse?for the past few hours, i have been having this strange phenomenon happening to me. i typed something and sent; then when I retrieved it, I don't seem to remember what I have written. it's almost like amnesia to me. even retrieving old messages seem like new to me. quite a scary thing to me. i was trying to remember someone's testimony shared a couple of days ago and i can't remember a single thing. i didn't bother about it until when i read old messages and they seem like new ones to me. eeee..........quite scary leh. am i losing my short-term memory? oh God, why is this happening to me? i seem to be also losing the sense of time. i keep forgetting that today is saturday. maybe i am tired or over-anxious. i need to rest now.
p.s. even as i go through this typed passage; some of these words seem new to me. scary, right? August 31 Lostthis is the first time in the last eight months that i am making an entry at midnight. something just happened in the office today that sets my mind thinking. i think and reflect so much that i can't sleep. the last entry was just about me going onto the life focus track. now i may have to speed up this process. God is telling me things that i don't like to hear now. my mission trip is on Friday and i have no time to react. i just may have to come back and address some of these things later. talk about bad timing. but then, God has never timed anything wrongly. his timing is perfect so i have to take it by faith. but i am still lost........so how? *sigh* i better get some sleep before i get too awake. now i know what it really means that "where your treasure is, there your heart will be also". now i know where my treasure and where my heart belongs. at least i gain this insight :) August 30 Reflections on TLC Formation Trackfinally, i have completed the formation track of the coaching course. after a month's break, i will go on to the life focus track. it promises to be an exciting time to dream big dreams and to refocus my life experiences. if what my coach shared with me is anything to go by, it's going to be life transforming if i take it seriously enough. during the last appointment with my coach last week, i spent four hours with him. it was just good timing that he happened to be in singapore for some other training. meeting him in person makes a whole world of difference. as i reflect upon my encounters with him over the last 13 weeks, i have three observations to make. firstly, when he listens to me, he really listens with his entire body, not just his ears - amazing feat! secondly, he has never ever uttered a single negative comment about me; everything he said were affirming. finally, his sharings and life stories are an open book for me. i am privileged to see how God has shaped him to be the man he is now. seeing him makes me believe that the first coaching value - believing in people; and the last value - each person is unique. just going through the formation track itself is already a mind-boggling experience. so many paradigms have changed and preconceptions dispelled from my mind. what an amazing course! August 21 Hotel Rwandai read about the genocide committed by the Hutus on the Tutsis in Rwanda in my recent read "Collapse". then i watched an excerpt of how it was like through the movie "Hotel Rwanda". what an amazing story; not the brutality part of it but the courage and compassion of Paul Rusesabagina, played by the versatile Don Cheadle. the movie brought the life the plight of the tutsi people as they were oppressed and killed by the Hutus. moderen history recorded for us that nearly 1 million was massacred. how could a fellow human being bear to kill another one without even blinking. the atrocities inflicted can find no words to describe. but more so, the vision and passion of Paul (who was a Hutu), bent on saving as many Tutsis as possible, becomes a brilliant light in the midst of the dark months of 1994 in Rwanda. what was portrayed in the movie led me to think about the depravity of man and his propensity to embrace extreme evil paralleled only with the savage behaviour of beasts of the animal kingdom. no wonder man needs grace and salvation. apart from this, there is no hope if we depend on what we have inside of us. only when our hearts are invaded by God will be hope to change our fallen nature. August 16 Disclaimerdear all who frequent my blog. i have decided not to continue the story of letters between the father and the teenaged daughter. i will just give you a couple of reasons. i went on to read a few more of the letters between them and realise there was too much frustration and till this day, their relationship is still at best polite; but to me more like indifferent or stalemate. so, it weren't be too encouraging to post these excerpts here. the other reason is that i the letters between the father and the daughter never happened. it was created in the moment of my ingenious imagination and found that i could not bear to fool my fellow bloggers anymore. this thought came as i was browsing through the celebrity bloggers that many singaporeans were raving about. now i don't want to be in the same league as them; sharing stories and events that never happened.
with this matter resolved; rest assured that the other things like high bp, coaching, holidays etc are real. i will continue to blog about these things although i know that my blog will never be as popular as mr brown or xiaxue but does it matter? the blogging world is large enough to accomodate a simple blogger like me. while i may be obscure but i sure am thankful for those who drop by to say hello. my blog, unlike others, exists not for myself but for others. have fun! August 13 A PoemI have been wanting to 'promote' this poem for quite a while; ever since I heard it read by tha author about two months ago. I will just introduce the poet and let you decide for yourself if she is good enough.
Poet: Vivienne Yeo
Title: The More I Walk
The longer the journey,
The wiser I become.
The rockier the path,
The bolder my spirit.
The longer the walk,
The greater my stride.
The tougher the trudge,
The deeper my learning.
The broader my horizon,
The wealthier the vision.
The more I walk,
The closer I am -
With thee, my Oneness,
My sweet Universe.
Except for two comments, I generally like the poem. If not for these two areas, I would have given it five stars. The first point is: "the sharper my vision" would be much better. The second point is the last verse. I find it too new-agey. I would have preferred "with thee, my Creator, my sweet Universe" - a little bit more religious but more personal.
Generally, Vivienne came across to me as someone who loves verses; passionate beyond measure and would probably give up anything just to write verses and verses. The above poem could be found in her latest book collection of fifty poem titled "If You're Not, Why Not". It should be available in the leading bookstores. Anyway, I don't receive commission on this; just doing a local poet whom I admire a favour. Check it out yourself if you like the "The More I Walk" poem featured here.
August 08 The Island Nation Celebrates!Rising out from the swamps of her kampung beginnings
Refined through the fires of racial riots and confrontation
Raised through the days of British colonialism
Resolved to build a Nation on a little island called
SINGAPORE
On 9 August 2006
Singaporeans unite to celebrate
A common birthday
A common destiny
A common future
as
One People
One Heart
One Voice
&
TOGETHER WE SAY
Happy Birthday Singapore!
August 03 ????????????????i am listening to hillsongs' for all you've done album. the song is titled "With All I AM" ya, that's what i feel like doing. drop everything and just bow down and worship God. when you don't feel like doing anything or your day is in a mess; that's the best way to do.
SHOUT!
PRAISE!
WORSHIP GOD!
it is probably the best way to chase away the blues. only God matters to me now! everything else is relegated to second place. August 02 Titleless BlogThis is mid-week. Sometimes I don't know what I am doing. I know some of my colleagues and friends read this space but don't leave comments. That's okay. If you happen to read this, just know that what I write here is only meant for your consumption.
Once in a while, I get this feeling that there must be something more to life than what I am doing now. I took on the formation track of the coaching course thinking that I might be able to sort this out. It's already week 10 out of the 13 weeks and I am still getting nowhere. Does this mean that the course is not helpful? No, it makes me think harder as the Life Focus track is supposed to address my personal dream. That sounds formidable on the surface but the following track promises to help us bring that to reality. Maybe it's wishful thinking. Well, when you reach my age and station in life; you are willing to think harder than you supposed to. I am not looking to leave a legacy because that's not the most important. It's about making the most use of my remaining days and not waste away the time God has entrusted in my hands.
When I look at the people around me, I often ask myself this question. Do they think about life the way I see it? Or are they so contended that nothing shakes them from their focus? Having lived more than 45 years of my life, I am inclined to think that most people are able to hide behind a facade that creates a false image of whom they really are. It is a facade that hides the pain, the struggles and the inadequacies of a fallen human being. Why am I so sure because I have seen enough not to conclude otherwise.
OK, ranting quota has been reached today. More next time........less you become like me  August 01 Feeling Flushedi am feeling my bp going up again. must have been the rich food i had last week. i wonder if it is really so. dun tell me the effect is so fast. i registered 130/90 recently which is a reading i haven't got for a long time. then again, i also have been too lax in my diet although my exercise routine remains consistent and regular. my plan is to get it down to the normal level again with a bit more exercise and a tough rein on my diet. the salt intake has to come down and no more fried stuff for a while. looks like i really must not slacken on both exercise and diet; my body is just too sensitive to such things.
as i said before, i will be maintaining two blogs. this one mainly for personal stuff. the other one will be dedicated to the art of writing and its related matters. meanwhile, if u are free, drop by and make some comments on both.
sometimes i feel like i am blogging for myself...............duh |
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